Ties – conformity noose
Okay, I have an idea. Take a long piece of fabric and tie it firmly around your neck. Make it just loose enough where you can still breathe and swallow but not any looser. It’s like a noose though your death isn’t instant but a slow one that takes place over 40 years. Now, that it’s in place, this fabric doesn’t provide any functional benefit to its wearer – no protection from the elements nor protection from any projectiles or falls, and it certainly doesn’t provide any cover for ones genitalia unless of course you’re a midget. All that it is is a piece of fabric wrapped proudly around ones neck like the tail feathers on a peacock.
The modern necktie originated from the Cravat which were neckerchiefs worn by Croatian mercenaries during the Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648). These neckerchiefs caught the interest of the French who have never been particularly known for their masculinity. They adopted these neckties in non-military fashion to parade around in as only the French would do. Over the next couple centuries its popularity as well as new variations spread across Europe. Then in 1926, New York tie maker, Jesse Langsdorf, developed the modern tie which has been worn by men ever since.
Now, typically men are the sensible ones when it comes to functional fashion. Women are the ones who typically place appearance over function with their high heels, tight mini skirts, jewelry, long hair, and fake nails. But with regards to neckties men definitely make inroads into the non functional fashion department. If you really think about it, neckties are a really bizarre thing. A standalone fabric uncomfortably tied around ones neck meant as a visual display expressing power and affluence to both genders. Their sole purpose is to psychologically influence others’ minds and nothing else.
People even parody the tie indirectly often show the absurdity of the necktie by showing animals such as Chimpanzees wearing this fashion statement. A chimp wearing a tie elicits humor because it’s such an obviously absurd proposition since the necktie is so definitively human. Seeing a chimp highlights its absurdity in its pointlessness. When people wear the necktie it’s harder to see the absurdity because they have become so ingrained into our culture as a symbol of power. Like a noose though, all that a tie represents to me is a slow death by promoting conformity, primitive mental responses, and for most stifling office jobs.
Understandability Rating – 1